About (or, rather, "About How Much Lindsey Lohan's Dad Fucking Owns!")
     
Home Page

About Page

Photo Page

What's New Page

  
Lindsey Lohan's Dad's Greatest Moments:

This guys spends every second of his life being awesome. Check this shit out:

1. Drunk Driving, Fiery Crash!

From an AP Story: "The father of teen movie star Lindsay Lohan was arrested Saturday following a fiery car crash and charged with driving while intoxicated, police said.

A car driven by Michael Lohan, 44, left a road and struck a utility pole shortly after midnight...

He got out before it burst into flames and was not injured.

Police charged Lohan with driving while intoxicated and driving without a license. Lohan did not comment as he was taken from police headquarters to a court appearance."

(source: http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/02/20/lohan.dad.arrested.ap/index.html)

HOLY SHIT! LET'S TALK ABOUT ALL THE WAYS HE RULES:

1. He was driving drunk.

2. He totally hit a utility pole.

3. The car fucking BURST INTO FLAMES!

4. Because he is the fucking shit, he DID NOT GET INJURED!

5. He got arrested. Awesome!

6. He didn't make a comment, because we all know the only thing he could possible say is: "I am Lidsey Lohan's dad, and I fucking rule."

 

2. $1,000,000 Bail, Fuck Restraining Orders, DUI

You have to seriously rule when your bail is set at $1,000,000. Fucking axe-murderers hardly get half that. This is a true indication of how much Lindsey Lohan's dad is awesome!

Check out some of these choice quotes from an E! Online story:

"A Long Island judge has set a whopping $1 million bail for Michael Lohan after he was busted Monday for criminal contempt after violating a protection order taken out by the Freaky Friday star's mom, Dina Lohan.

During Wednesday's arraignment, Lindsay's 44-year-old father...was also charged with driving under the influence...According to police, Lohan was caught by security guards pulling into the driveway of his estranged wife's residence in North Merrick, Long Island. Arresting officers subsequently determined he was intoxicated and took him into custody.

Lohan managed to avoid going to jail, however, after complaining of chest pains and shortness of breath."

(source: http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,15451,00.html)

Holy Mother Fucking Shit! This guy owns on so many levels, I can't even get over it! Let's try to break it down:

1. Restraing/Protection Order? THIS IS FUCKING LINDSEY LOHAN'S DAD WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!

2. Not only does LLD (Lindsey Lohan's Dad) get arrested for that shit, he also manages to get arrested for Drunk Driving...again! This motherfucker drinks more goddamn booze than I do! But here's the part that really kicks my ass: HE FUCKING DRIVES WHEN HE'S SHELLACKED! I can't compete! And neither can you! This is LL Motherfucking D!!!!

3. He pulls the old, "I'm having a heart attack" trick AND IT WORKS! Fucking cops, man. Don't you know that LLD is invincible (see #1 where he walks away from an exploding car)? HE OWNED YOU, SUCKERS!

OTHER AMAZING MOMENTS!
Here are some quick things that prove how fucking awesome LLD is: "[Michael] Lohan has threatened to murder his entire family, which now has 24-hour security protection." AND "Last summer, Michael was arrested in the family home for allegedly beating another brother-in-law, Matthew Sullivan, with a shoe during a brawl at a communion party." HOLY CRAP, THERE'S MORE! "Then there's his arrest for skipping out on a $3,800 bill at a posh local hotel last April." WAIT! MOOORE! "Lohan pleaded guilty to charges he assaulted a New York City sanitation worker." OOPS! LLD JUST OWNED EVERYONE "Lohan was arrested Nov. 23 for a bizarre incident in which Michael Lohan allegedly chased daughter Lindsay when she showed up at her younger brother's soccer game." (source: http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,15439,00.html)

LINDSEY LOHAN'S DAD RULES!